So, you’re planning on entering the woods sometimes soon, with intentions of staying a while, and you need to pick up a few things. You’ve chosen your tent of residence, decided on the best camping foods ,and have instructed your loved ones as to some relative location to begin looking for you should the Blair Witch attempt to intervene. You are ninety percent certain that you went camping once before when you were a kid and that it is as glamorous as you kinda recall. Even if it’s not, you’ll be just fine with no formal training. Besides, who needs Boyscouts when you have these awesome accessories?
SurvivalStraps Survival Bracelet
Fashion first! Don’t be afraid to go rugged, for only $19.99. How about some nifty jewelry that is actually an amazing survival tool? This 14-foot length of paracord from SurvivalStraps looks like a bracelet/anklet and will conveniently transform when the need arises. There is a handy release on the side, so your cord can be easily accessed in emergency situations, or in any other situation in which you desire something long and strong. Then you can use your smooth resilient cord to support up to 550 lbs while you become the star of the day ... or the night ... and “if you have to use the SurvivalStrap to survive, they will replace it free of charge!”
Image Source: SurvivalStraps
Hopefully, you’re planning to take an adorable doggy with you on this trek towards inner peace. Regardless, you should bring the Loc8tor, priced at $79.99. This product has been acclaimed as the "Best Locator in the World," so, even if you are canine-less you can be sure that you have at least purchased the highest quality turtle tracker available. Here’s a neat trick: Wander away from your campsite at night. Just leave aLoc8tor beacon behind and you should be able to find your way back with ease.
Huge Capacity Solar Charger and Battery
You must remember to charge your solar-powered items while the sun is still up. You may be thinking: What solar-powered items? Why, all of them, of course! Bring the Huge Capacity Solar Charger and Battery with you and you can still use all your favorite electronic gadgets, even your laptop, while you commune with nature! Since this item is about the size of a laptop, it should fit right into that backpack, after it costs you $199.99.
Solar-Powered Water Bottle Cap
Surely, you’ve packed bottles of water in that backpack, as well. Get this small tidbit and then you can use them to provide light. That’s right. The Solar Powered Water Bottle Cap, which costs $19.99, charges up during the day so it can shine on in the dark. It even has a built in motion-sensor that prevents it from wasting power if it’s already in the light.
Swedish FireSteel and Mayadust
Swedish FireSteel, $15.99, and Mayadust, $4.99, will get a fire going in even the most severe weather. Will you get trapped by a violent hail storm and be unable to travel, thus forced to hunker down to try to stave of hypothermia? Maybe. If that does happen will this combo save your life? It should, and the Swedish FireSteel will light over 12,000 times before you need a replacement, so spark up!
FireStash Keychain Lighter
Yup, having that fire is pretty important. That’s why you need the FireStash Keychain Lighter, for $12.99. This waterproof canister lighter will always be around, as long as you don’t lose your keys. Let’s face it: You’re probably going to make quite an effort not to do so. Plus, it is really small, so it won’t be an everyday inconvenience if you choose to make it a permanent addition to your key chain, and then you can light up all kinds of things in all kinds of places.
BodyGuard Self-Powered Emergency Tool
All of these intensely intriguing items should enable you to survive the extreme expedition that you no doubt have planned. There is just one more essential item that you require. The BodyGuard Self-Powered Emergency Tool, which costs $19.99, boasts a compass, digital FM radio, motion detecting security alarm, flashlight, panic button, flashing red light, signaling mirror, and even a storage container for pills, matches, or the like. Features may be powered with a hand crank and you can even charge your cell phone with this gadget. It could help you out in a wide variety of sticky situations, so you should definitely get one.
Currently, you can buy this little camping kit of modern marvels from ThinkGeek.com, and have all of these items delivered to you, for a grand total of $373.92 (before sales tax and postage, of course). If that seems like a lot to you, consider the following situation in which everything listed here could be used in conjunction, even if you don’t have that cell phone, to save your life.
A Very Real Possibility:
Your gal-pals have talked you into an oh-so-empowering white water rafting/camping trip, and you are completely stoked to face the challenges that lie ahead. However, since you’re running a level four out of five on your first river trip, your friends don’t even realize it when you are briskly bounced from the raft. Instead of drowning, you quickly use your Survivalstrap to snag a rapidly passing object from which you can pull and pray yourself to safety. You do a good job and survive (so, yay, you will get a free new bracelet), but you are very alone now, the sun is setting, and you’re quite lost.
Well, at least you had on a nice padded waterproof backpack in which all this precious cargo remained safely stored in zipped plastic baggies. You see a small area under a large rocky hill that looks like a good place to get situated. You immediately pull out your Huge Capacity Solar Charger and Battery and your Solar Powered Water Bottle Cap (things that thankfully charged earlier in the sunlight) while turning on the panic button and flashing red light on the BodyGuard Self-Powered Emergency Tool as you plug it into the power source in hopes that the ruckus will eventually attract your friends. It’s really cold, though, and you ought to build a fire before you promptly begin to freeze to death in the quickly-approaching night. So, you leave a Loc8tor beacon at the location, take the coordinating hand piece, and wander off to find some kindling, confident this gadget will guide you back when you are done.
Once you’ve accomplished your task you return to the location which would be dark if not illuminated by the Solar Powered Water Bottle Cap, and since no-one has arrived yet, you use your FireStash Keychain Lighter, which definitely survived the watery accident, to easily start a fire. It is nighttime and you shouldn’t go wandering around the woods by yourself. Thus, it is best to wait to survive the night in one location and then use your compass, which is also on the BodyGuard Self-Powered Emergency Tool, to guide you in the morning. So now, just enjoy the warmth of your fire and try to ignore your annoyance with this situation so you can get some rest. Soon you will be rescued - sweet dreams!
Lightening strikes! You’re dreaming, right? The tree that smacks the ground way too nearby quickly convinces you that you’re not, and as the rain starts slapping your face, you think of rushing your precious gadgets to safety. You cannot save the fire, though. You then realize that if you are unable to relight it, you can’t survive the night.
You start to cry. You think you do, at least. It’s pretty hard to tell. Tears are oddly difficult to distinguish within billions of raindrops. Then you suddenly remember that you have Swedish FireSteel and Mayadust.
You are magically able to relight your fire, although it is meager, and you must position yourself in a manner which allows you to partially protect it from the rain, but it is warm enough to renew your hope. Inspired, you wait patiently for dawn and devise lovely exaggerations to ensure your status as ‘heroine’ within the local newspaper. When the rescuers, pale with worry, find you in the morning, you are skipping jauntily down the riverbank, singing along to the radio on one of your new favorite gadgets that helped you determine which of the three branching tributaries to follow. Your friends soon express their remorse for unwittingly leaving you behind and tell you how thankful they are that you had the foresight to purchase all these items that surely saved your life … They also mention how very glad they are that the vicious starving mountain lion and her four cubs, which you had to suddenly heroically defend yourself against, with a branch that you jumped 10 feet into the air to yank off the nearest tree, didn’t get to eat you, and somehow didn’t leave a scratch … Then that writer does a bang up job writing your article …
Learn How To Stay Caffeinated on your camping trip and consider coming home to Her Star Wars Kitchen!